Car Security 101

Nope, no problem here.

We Deliver Love

That must get the van awfully sticky.

Shuffleupagus

Honestly people, are you really not capable of picking your feet that few inches off the ground so you don’t sound like a giant brown mutant elephant walking down the street? It’s bad enough that you’re wearing Ugg boots in public. Do we really need to put up with the frigging irritating sound as you shuffle along too? While I’m on about, the constant smacking of your chewing gum is really irritating too. Even though you do resemble a cow chewing cud I really don’t think you need to copy that particular aspect of it. Maybe you could just wear a giant bell around your neck and get your ear pierced with a ID tag instead.

The Lights Are On But Nobody’s Home

First and only rule – if you push the button and the light comes on there’s no need to keep pushing it. The lift will not coming any quicker and the crossing man will not turn green any sooner.

To me, this seems a pretty simple rule to follow but some people just aren’t able to follow it. They’ll push the button continuously until the lift arrives in the mistaken belief that the multiple button pushing has somehow altered the timing mechanism and made it arrive sooner. The worse are those people who will push the button right after someone else has already pushed it. It’s if they think the gods have empowered them with some special power that makes them the only one in the universe who can make the red man turn green. That’s a pretty crappy power if you ask me. Me?, I’d rather have retractable metal claws or laser vision.